I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good

[alt_gredforge]

So, Perks....

We suppose there's no delicate way to inquire whether that little hex we passed along to you is working. Pity...it's not the sort of thing a chap admits to his dormitory mates.

You did cast it, didn't you?

Well, we'll all simply have to gloat to ourselves in private.

Comments

[alt_terry]

What hex was that?

[alt_gredforge]

A fitting revenge. Not permanent, but fitting.

And that's all you probably need to know.

[alt_terry]

Oh.

[alt_sally_anne]

Very clever of you to pass it along to me right before the big quidditch game.

I hexed him during the celebration after. You haven't noticed how twitchy he's been at meals? Although I suppose no one noticed anything at lunch today but Vicky Frobisher...

[alt_gredforge]

Ah. Subtle confirmation. Excellent.

Savour your victory, Perks. The best pranks are the ones that you get away with completely.

[alt_ron]

Huh?

You hexed who?!

[alt_sally_anne]

Someone on the Slytherin Quidditch team, which is why I thought your brothers' timing was awfully convenient.

Not Harry or Draco.

[alt_ron]

Wait.

They thought you'd hex one of your own side?

Did you?

[alt_sally_anne]

Yes.

But not until after the game.

He really deserved it. I wouldn't have hexed someone who didn't, especially like this.

[alt_neville]

'like this'? Like what? Exactly what did you do to him?

[alt_gredforge]

Oh, Neville. Neville, Neville, Neville. Use your imagination.

Better yet, don't. Keep your innocence as long as you can.

[alt_ron]

Wait.

You know who she hexed?

[alt_neville]

No idea.

[alt_sally_anne]

Look.

He tried to grab my tit, okay? Actually he DID grab me, and he'd been 'accidentally' touching me for weeks and weeks.

So I hexed him so every time he tries to wank his hands turn to rubber. It'll wear off eventually. Or he can go to Madam Pomfrey and ask her to fix it, if he gets impatient. I probably won't cast it a second time. Unless he touches me again.

[alt_ron]

WOT?

WHO did that?

[alt_sally_anne]

You don't need to hex him, I already hexed him!

[alt_neville]

Oh, I...

I'm sorry. Real sorry.

[alt_lee]

But what a fiendishly good way to get back at him.

[alt_pansy]

Slytherin, remember?

We do fiendish quite well.

[alt_ron]

Heh.

[alt_ron]

Well?

I mean, come on. You told them and not me? That doesn't

Wait. When did you talk to them about it even?

It's something really big?

[alt_gredforge]

Not anymore, it's not.

Hence his frustration.

[alt_ron]

Um.

That's actually

that'd be really hilarious

except for the part where somebody ought to kill him

whoever it is

but, yeah

I guess killing him isn't very likely, is it?

But still.

That's just not on. And it was a Slytherin player but not

Good thing it wasn't one of them. Because I'd-

Yeah, all right.

I know.

Just tell me, all ready.

[alt_sally_anne]

I'll tell you after we go home for the summer.

Okay?

[alt_ron]

 
...
 

[alt_neville]

I guess I want to know, too. Not because I want to know, but...I have a little sister here at school, just like Ron does.

I hope this convinces him not...well. Let's hope he behaves himself from now on.

Do you have any idea--has he been pestering other girls, too?

[alt_sally_anne]

Neville, I could tell you the name of the boy who grabbed me, but he's in Slytherin. Easy enough for Evelyn to avoid.

And I can't tell you the name of the boy in Gryffindor you have to worry about because Katrina won't tell me who it is.

[alt_gredforge]

Well.

Obviously it's time to apply some of our mad deductive and investigative skills upon our own Housemates.

We promise you that if we find out who he is, the fact that he's a Gryffindor won't protect him in the least.

[alt_neville]

Blimey.

[alt_sally_anne]

I asked them for advice on a hex.

When I told them what I wanted, they guessed what he'd probably done to deserve it.

[alt_ron]

Hang on. What did you lot do?

Who's looking twitchy at meals? You better not have hexed me or you'll be sorrier than sorry.

[alt_sally_anne]

If I ever hex you, Ron, you will notice.

[alt_ron]

Oh.

All right, then.

But who'd you hex?

[alt_gredforge]

Particularly if we help.

[alt_ron]

Oi!