Feb. 5th, 2013

Order Only

Feb. 5th, 2013 08:14 pm
alt_gredforge: (Lurking)
Right. We think it's all gonna be okay, and we were able to head off the worst of the danger. Here's what happened:

At dinner, Umbridge called up both Lee Jordan and Ginny in front of the entire school. The first thing we need to explain is, yeah, Lee wrote a private message, too--to the two of us--but that was something we talked about carefully beforehand, and we decided to do it as a strategic move, sort of like a test case. Now that Umbridge is the Headmistress, we needed to gauge how badly she's likely to punish people, so we'd know what we were dealing with. So Lee wrote a list of stupid nicknames for her, and he posted it to us. We replied like the ultimate suckups, saying, 'You shouldn't say things like that about the Headmistress.' We figured Lee was the best person to do the test, because he has no record of Private messages in his journal at all for Umbridge to force him to go back to reread. Also, he has a lot less of a record than we do. More of a blank slate, y'see?

Turns out, it was a very good thing he did it, because it meant Umbridge had something to think about (and someone to get hacked off at) besides Ginny.

She called the two of them up, and us too, because Lee wrote to us. She had him start reading aloud, he got a couple of lines in, and then she got furious and swept us all off to her office. She ordered Lee to read the whole thing, and he read his post, acting all embarrassed and hang dog about it. Did a wonderful job of not laughing. (When Umbridge heard the list, she turned such a lovely colour. Quite the deepest shade of pink in her office.)

Then she had him read our reply to him, and we managed to keep a straight face, too. She told Lee that she would find some work for him to do, 'probably cleaning up after house elves,' and then turned to Ginny and ordered her to read hers.

Ginny only got one paragraph in, and as soon as she mentioned Dad's birthday coming up, Fred tipped his wand under his elbow and quietly fired a Fleo charm at her. Did it beautifully; Umbridge didn't suspect a thing, but Ginny started bawling right on cue. She got through the words, 'Ron and the twins always seem to be off doing something with their friends' and then started sobbing so hard, she couldn't get any more words out. Finally Umbridge gave her a handkerchief and told her that was enough. Fussed over her a bit: 'I know this is a very difficult time for you, dear.' And George played up to it, too. Wrapped his arms around her and let her bawl on him, wipe her boogies on his shoulder. Umbridge said she'll think about it, and let her know what the punishment will be later.

Anyway. thanks to Fred's spell, Ginny didn't even have a chance to get to the stuff that Bill was so worried about. So we think we're all right.

P.S. Oh, for your enjoyment, here is Lee's list:

Top ten nicknames for our darling new Headmistress:

1. The Pink Peril
2. Madam Dumbridge
3. Madam Bumbridge
4. The Teensy Tiny Brain
5. The Headmistress without a Home
6. Frog-Face
7. Frog-Throat
8. Hemberk
9. Umbitch
10. Umbritches

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Fred & George Weasley

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